The Parents We Mean To Be…are we aligned in our expectations?

In *The Parents We Mean To Be (2009), Richard Weissbourd explores the fundamental truth that ‘we’ as adults are the ‘primary influence on children’s moral lives’. So, how is it feeling for our Pre-schoolers to Year 12, at the start of the school year; with a new set of adults adding to the central influence of parents? Are we aligned in our expectations, are we challenging students to achieve the same standards, or are your children or teenagers noting dissonance that should be addressed? 

In our 2019 publication Character Education at Frensham, we note our core (Character) expectations as ‘outcomes beyond school’: * confident and self-assured * willing contributor * curious and adaptive learner * respectful and active citizen * grounded future-builder * solution architect, and, in summary, we state that ‘our ultimate success as a school will be measured in the way our students carry themselves beyond school, with a courageous spirit as global citizens of today and tomorrow’.

How do we work together to support achievement of these outcomes?

Just as Weissbourd writes, from personal experience, ‘I don’t know an adult who became a better role model by being told to be one’, it is the same for young people. Moral qualities for children and teenagers are shaped day by day by what we register or fail to acknowledge, by how we define their responsibilities and follow through on expectations, and by the respectful example we set in our dealings with others. 

Recent publicity about school culture heightens our awareness of the ongoing challenge we share as the adults in our children’s lives. 

As we work together in 2020, I encourage parents to consider the words of a fellow Principal (and Author) James Stenson: ‘Successful parents realise that children grow up not when they can take care of themselves but when they can take care of others’ and, to note an inspirational challenge by Father Chris Riley (Youth Off the Streets), that resonates with our expectations of ourselves: ‘Have the courage to demand greatness from the children in your care.’

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Author of *The Parents We Mean To Be (How well-intentioned adults undermine children’s moral and emotional development, 2009) Richard Weissbourd is an American child and family psychologist on the faculty of Harvard's Graduate School of Education and Kennedy School of Government.

Further, re parenting of adolescents: For parents new to the School, or for those moving into the stage of ‘parenting a teenager’, please consider our requests, in the one-page paper Why saying ‘no’ or ‘not yet’ to your teenager…is important – To what are we asking you to say ‘no’, with us? READ HERE 

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Acknowledgement to:

• Gib Gate Year 6 Monitors, so magnificently presented last week for their Monitors Assembly, in the presence of parents, teachers and the entire School. It is very clear that the opportunity to serve in leadership positions is highly valued by seniors and juniors at Gib Gate. A highlight of the Assembly was the arrival of Preschool – so warmly welcomed – in particular, by their ‘old friends’ now in Kindergarten;
• Families of Gib Gate (FOGG), represented by Class Rep Parents and parents of all year groups at the FOGG Welcome Drinks last Friday evening – with teachers and members of the Board enjoying the opportunity to meet the broader parent community (Our current Chair of Frensham Schools, Ms Elizabeth Stuart, with fellow ‘current parents of Gib Gate and Frensham’ was reflecting on her very happy years as a Gib Gate student);
• Charlotte Brigstocke (Year 12) selected for the IGSSA Softball Team to compete next week in the Combined Independent Schools (CIS) Softball Championships;
• Sturt, for successful hosting of the annual Tools & Techniques weekend in the Sturt School for Wood;
• Frensham’s Livestock Show Team for its success at Nowra and Kangaroo Valley Shows, including Championships and State Finals selection for Year 12s, with their steers and in Parader and Young Judges competition: Miriam Hopkins, Dimity Crowe, Daisy Latimer (See full results in the Agriculture Report).

Expos and Open Days 2020

Please let us know if you are able to attend our Information Evenings or Expo visits – contact (Mrs) Colleen Relf directly at: registrar@frensham.nsw.edu.au

On Campus

• Frensham Open Day: Saturday 29 February – SEE PROGRAMME | PDF
• Gib Gate (P-6) Open Day: Saturday 2 May
• Frensham Head’s Tour: Saturday 29 August
• Frensham Sample Boarding (Year 5, 2020): Thursday 17 September

Boarding Schools Expos

• Dubbo: Friday 15-Saturday 16 May
• Griffith: Thursday 11 June
• Wagga Wagga: Friday 12-Saturday 13 June

Information Functions

• Yass (Luncheon): Wednesday 12 August
• Cooma (Evening): Wednesday 12 August
• Singapore (Evening): Tuesday 1 September
• Scone (Evening): Wednesday 9 September

Julie Gillick
Head of Frensham
Head of Frensham Schools